Oh, Remus could see where this was going. "Accio newspaper," he muttered, glad he hadn't put his wand away. Sure, this was one of those spells he could do without a wand, but it was always easier with one.

Which was why, by the time Sirius got around to starting to insinuate intimate relations between the shepherd and his flock, Remus was ready with a rolled up paper to bap him on the nose. "Bad Padfoot. No biscuit for you." He sighed, shaking his head. "I can't take you anywhere, honestly. As for that? Yes, you could have if we were both ghosts, you great woolly-brained nitwit."