longestnight_old | (no subject)

Bunny stroked the back of Jack's hoodied head and hunched protectively around him.

He couldn't tell yet if Jack's meltdown was due to the recent business where he'd almost died, triggered by something else, or just long overdue. He could find all that out later.

What mattered right now was that they were all they had left. Jack was all he had left, and with the state of the world, it was so much harder for Jack to have fun. Just like it was getting harder for him to have hope.

If they had each other to hold out for, that made it easier to keep on fighting. And for him to keep on hoping.

They were keeping each other from falling - more or less, at the moment, literally.

Eventually, the sobs subsided. Mostly.

"That Howard kid - is a really mean kid," Jack huffed, sounding deeply embarrassed that he'd gotten that worked up over something he said.

But it wasn't just about that. It was about everything.

"Hey, woah, hold on a tic."

Someone was actually mean to Jack? Someone without Bunny's old reasons for bias?

But then, Howard had already displayed more than a slight mean streak.

"Was this about what he said back at the amusement park, or did something else happen?"

"I bumped into him in the hallway and at first I was annoyed but then I said I was sorry and he told me to shut up so I may have maybe told him to shut up back but then he told me to go - to go -" Jack waved a hand vaguely. "To go eff-word myself. And called me an -"

Ugh, this was stupid, dancing around the words.

"He called me an asshole and I asked him what his problem is and he was saying stuff like that I just wanted people kissing my ice-encrusted butt - just with the other word - even though I was the guardian of being useless, and that I just see him and the other kids as collateral damage and then I got a little - a little upset and he said I was crying like a -"

Back to dancing around words again. "- the b-word, and that I thought I was too perfect and pure for anyone to get mad at me and that he wanted me to stop trying to be friends with him because I was only doing it because it was such a big blow to my ego that he thought I was a tool."

Bunny listened to all that, responding with a "Huh."

For a second he thought about giving Howard a quick lesson in colorful language. (Just because a Guardian never cursed, didn't mean they didn't know how to do it. In fluent Australian.)

Only for a second, though. Mean or not, Howard was still a kid. And a kid who obviously had a lot of reasons besides the ones from this world to be angry and aggressive - who still needed their protection in the face of his anger.

But Jack was a kid too. Would always be a kid. And it just wouldn't do to have one kid at the pole freely making another cry, even if it wasn't a kid Bunny loved as personally as Jack.

Making Jack cry, really cry, was not easy. Bunny knew exactly how aggressive and nasty a person had to be - he'd been that person before.

"I'd say it takes a tool to know a tool -" that was about the least offensive word he felt like repeating in front of Jack. "But you're not one, and we know that."

He gave the frost spirit another squeeze, casting around for a thing or two to say. He wasn't much for advice on interpersonal conflict. North would have been able to sort this all out, surely, if he was there - but he wasn't, and Bunny was the only Guardian left who'd actually reached adulthood in his mortal life. It fell to him to be the adult in the mythic pool.

He had to think about this. Both before advising Jack, and tracking down Howard.

"Give him a wide berth. The kid's not going to be your friend. Cut your losses." He ruffled Jack's hair once more. "Not everyone comes around in time -" he raised his eyebrows, catching Jack's eye, cracking a half-smile. "At least this time nobody's life depends on it, huh?"

Jack managed to give a half-hearted smile back but then the smile faded.

"It wasn't just him, though. It's everything right now. I miss the others." He missed the people who gave him love and kindness instead of distrust and hostility. "I miss Jamie."

Jamie, who was pretty much Howard's polar opposite, but it wasn't safe to spend too much time with Jamie anymore. They were trying to avoid making him a target.

"And you almost... And if something happens to you, I'm going to be alone with all these people. Some of them are okay, but they're not -"

Well.

"Molly and Mami are sweet kids, and some of them aren't bad people, but they're not really people I'd want to spend an eternity with is all I'll say."

The implication there being that the Guardians were. But Bunny knew that.

Jack's lips trembled. "And if anything happens to you and to the others during all this, but I still make it and get to send them all home ... I'm going to be alone again. Even Jamie, eventually he'll..."

Jack went on, "And that attack - they were stronger but that means we're losing more kids and I can't - I can't really deal with it all. I can't just...be myself. I have to spend five minutes going over in my head how to talk to people before I fly into a room and that's on top of everything else we're doing, that's on top of the fighting. It's too much."

Jack shook his head. "I can be a Guardian - fighting in a war, and I can be Jack Frost, and I can babysit very, very damaged teenagers and strangers, but I am not really juggling all three at once very well right now."

Edited 2013-08-18 06:55 (UTC)

"I know."

Bunny leaned over, pressing his nose to Jack's forehead.

"I miss 'em too. I miss not having to shoulder all of this."

He missed not having to be the oldest, the (probably) wisest. The wisdom he has was not the same as North's, for example - North, who would have been so much better at uniting and inspiring and leading these new myths than he would.

He just missed his friends. Tooth's fierce, efficient competence and Sandy's dependable reserves of calm. North's bombastic enthusiasm. He even missed Anansi's clever needling.

He rubbed Jack's back, still leaning against his forehead.

"There's hope in some of them," he pointed out. "Sam's settling in. Nico - she's dependable in a pinch." More than dependable. She'd saved his skin. "They're not Guardians -" not really - "but they're not all going to need constant care much longer. It's their fight now, as well as ours. Most of 'em understand that."

They'd pitch in, for the sake of their worlds. Howard might never like them - but he had friends he cared about from his home. That much was obvious. They could hope he'd find a motivation in trying to find some way to help for them. Or at least, not actively trying to sabotage the others' morale.

"I don't know that any of them are Guardians, but they're far from hopeless." Some of them were even starting to give him more reason to hope. "And you're doing better than some would. None of us would be able to do this alone."

They all had their shortcomings which would make leading this ragtag team a nigh impossibility, without support.

He paused before going on.

"And nothing's going to happen to me," he promised. "I'm not lying, Jack." He pulled back to look the frost spirit in the eye again. "We can't allow ourselves to be caught in the open like that again, so - we won't go in the open. Not all out, not all at once. They can't know where we are, or what we're up to - but I won't get killed on you. I promise."

He couldn't. He must not.

But Jack didn't have to know exactly how important it was that he not. Even if he hadn't had his reasons to know he absolutely could not die, to stay with Jack would have been enough of a reason to fight for his life as well as everyone else's.

Jack sucked in a deep, shaky breath, but he nodded.

"I just need to get it together. I used to have..." He stopped, trying to think of a way to describe it. "I had to have a bit of a shell. A thick skin, you know? After all that time alone. Especially since the few people I did run into thought I was a pain in the butt. Since joining up with you guys, I didn't need to have that anymore. And I haven't dealt with anyone hostile - that I couldn't just punch in the face - for - for centuries. Other than Pitch, but he hasn't been able to get under my skin since the first time I fought him with you guys. I just have to - I have to get a thicker skin again."

Now that he'd let his guard down, he needed to get it back up again - but not in the unhealthy way it'd been before, back when he'd kept people at a distance with the sarcasm and the rebelliousness. Back then, he'd been afraid to be alone forever, but even more scared that if he let anyone in close, they'd not want to be around him.

It'd taken a little needling for him to give being around other people a chance. It'd taken some kind words and someone telling him he had something special inside for him to believe others might look at him and see something worthwhile.

"That y'do," Bunny agreed. "We're too easy for mortals to blame not to have thick hides just now. But still - no reason to go inviting fire. Give the kid a wide berth, a'right? He's got problems."

That was an understatement of monumental kind.

"You've got enough of your own without taking on his."

Jack nodded.

"I'll try to give him his space and hopefully that means he'll stay out of mine."

He sucked in a deep breath and let it out.

"The joys of actually dealing with people, huh? This is still pretty new to me. You and the others were cake in comparison."

"Mortals are complicated. They build up a lotta layers in almost no time -"

They were slow and unchanging, by comparison.

"They can be harder to keep up with."

He sounded a curious combination of resigned and determined as he added, "If he doesn't give you space, I'll have a word with him."

"I guess this is a good thing. Not every kid is a happy kid. A lot of kids out there are hurt by all different things. Maybe this will help make it so I'll know how to best help them whenever we run into them," Jack said with a shrug.