Rock'em, Sock'em Recruits

[morethanmyth]

Reading, Berkshire, was one of the larger towns in Britain, but this was also because of the myth population living quietly alongside the humans. There were very few that believed in fairies anymore, but some old superstitions had still endured the passing of time, and that was enough for the hobs to get by.

They were used to a quiet life there, and were usually untroubled by the outside world - or even the world of humans they lived side by side with.

At least until all this nonsense with the fearlings started. Everyone in the myth world knew that change was happening and it was a change for the worse rather than the better. When word eventually came that most of the Guardians had been captured by this evil force, by this Kuk, they knew the world was in trouble.

If the Guardians couldn't stand against them, then who could?

This was why, when the sky crack with lightning and opened him and a strange...thing fell down through it, cracking the asphalt where it landed, in the middle of their community's market, their first reaction was fear.

"What is it?"

"I don't know."

"Looks a bit like them human contraptions, it does."

"It can't be human, it fell out of the sky. And it's covered in slime."

"Don't touch it! Everyone stay back!"

The strange metal thing, whatever it was, suddenly sat up, staring at them all with an empty void of a face, before turning in one direction, running forward and smashing the facade of a building like it was nothing more than tissue paper.

"Everyone, clear out, take shelter! Blin, see if you can get find one of the tooth fairies to take a message to the Guardians! There are usually a few about."

"On it!"

The strange metal creature seemed to try to speak to them but the words were in a language alien to them and it sounded hostile.



Then it turned and went back to its rampage. Oddly, it didn't seem to be attacking any of them and all the damage to the buildings was more cosmetic than anything, but there was no telling if that would hold true for long - or if the creature would limit itself to just their settlement. If it laid into the town, with all its crowds of humans and larger buildings...

*"You're all in danger! You need to take shelter immediately!"

Comments

[grimbiker]

Sirius still had his wand pointed at the robot as it opened up and from it came...

A little green alien.

Sirius stared. The whole time the green man advanced on them he stared. And he kept staring as the man insulted them in both English and some alien language.

He lowered his wand. Stared for several seconds longer, and then he let out a laugh that sounded like a bark.

"Thank you." He said. "Thank you for making it official."

He turned around toward the others, lifted his arms into the air, and loudly proclaimed. "I am insane."

[justadigger]

Thankfully, the noise stopped, and Simon was able to get back up on his feet shortly after it ended.

The boy coming out of the suit was kind of a surprise - he'd not seen a robot quite like this one before, but someone coming out of one wasn't a surprise. And given the look of the green fellow, and the way he was speaking? Simon might not have the faintest clue what he's getting at, but he knows that exasperation, that tone, the gesticulation with the hands - he's seen it several times over. Leeron, Rossiu, Leite - they might not have gotten this mad, but close enough that he'll hedge his bets with Mellie.

Stepping nearer to the group, his stance is more neutral now, and he points toward Mellie by tilting his staff in her direction. When he speaks, his voice is deep, and his tone a bit weary. "I agree with the young lady about this guy not being hostile," he starts, then tilts the staff in Brainy's direction while smirking. "I can only catch about every other word, but I've seen enough decent smart guys get agitated to know what one looks like."

Sirus gets a quizzical look, though. "You're not the only one that just wandered into a big load of weirdness, guy - I wouldn't go claiming insanity just yet."

[thewholeofthemoon]

Remus shot Sirius a vaguely amused look. Only vaguely because he wasn't entirely certain he wasn't losing his marbles, too. "I don't know. I think I'd take the little green man over You-Know-Who." Because there was no way he was saying Voldemort's name when he had no clue what was going on.

Still, he put his hands up. "I think either this area or we are under the effect of a translation spell, but it's only beginning to take affect on your language. Though, somewhat expectedly, it seems to have locked onto the curse words first." Since those were the words that most people seemed to like to learn. Well, people who weren't Lily and Remus. "Nothing has been damaged...well, no more than it already has been. Your--suit is simply being held in a sort of stasis."

It only then occurred to him that the three other than himself and Sirius were likely Muggles. At this rate, he hoped the memory charms were going to work. Everything else seemed to be more of a challenge than normal.

[justleftovers]

Mellie's voice is distant and robotic, like an automated menu on a telephone line.

"Unless you want this world to be overrun by otherdimensional parasites from fluidic space, you meddling imbeciles need to get out of my way. If they're not stopped, then in a matter of hours, all matter on this planet will be reduced to a fine molecular soup held together in a loosely conglomerated sphere by gravitational forces."

She doesn't move. She doesn't blink. She doesn't respond to Sirius or Remus or the fact that Simon is speaking up.

[googledox]

Mellie's sudden distant and robotic expression actually seemed to cause the green young man concern. Part of that concern seemed to be "what fresh new crazy is this?" judging from his expression, but part of it also seemed to borne of genuine concern for her well-being.

How she was acting was not a normal reaction.

He immediately whipped out a small device that looked like something out of a sci-fi show, some kind of compact personal computer. Running it up and down Mellie's body in a quick scan, he looked completely perplexed at what he saw on the screen.

He opened his mouth to say something about it, but there was a sudden high-pitched noise that sounded like it was coming from the throats of a whole flock of...somethings. The green guy twirled around so quickly to look at it that he actually took to the air and then pointed above at what he seemed to want them all to see: flashing silver shapes darted in the air overhead like some demented school of aerial fish. They would get a better glimpse now of the parasites, nasty spectral things that looked like some horrid mix of every nasty long-bodied animal there was - a little bit eel here, a little bit lamprey there, some sea snake over there.

In the air over the town square, they swam around in a strange dance that made them seem as if they were multiplying.

Greenjeans looked back to the other humanoids and gestured towards the robot suit.



*"Whatever you’re doing to my suit, you need to cease doing it immediately. To stop them, I need it to be functional - the equipment inside it is delicate."

[justadigger]

And just as soon as he thought he could relax, Simon's on-guard again, staff raised as he faces toward Mellie with a grim expression. Between that, and the things flying around in the sky, frustration was mounting pretty quickly.

"...what the hell's going on here...?"

[thewholeofthemoon]

"No idea," Remus said grimly, watching the things overhead. "But I dare say it doesn't look good."

He twisted around, pointing his wand at the robot before casting the counter-charm to allow it to move again. "Nothing will be buggered up," he told the green man. "Though if you know any weaknesses these creatures have, that would be great."

The translation spell was taking better hold. Most of that sentence had been understandable.

[grimbiker]

One man wasn't acting shocked, or even surprised. In fact, he seemed rather laid back and stared up at the sky almost lazily. Accepting that you were mad did take the edge off things.

Well, he might as well go along with it. It was better than curling up in a ball and trying to ignore everything. That would just be boring.

Sirius pointed his wand in the air and said: "Immobulus." He didn't wait to see if the spell would work or not before walking over to Mellie. He snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"Hey, this is my hallucination. I'm the only one allowed to go catatonic." He didn't say it harshly. While it was largely in a matter of fact tone there was some concern there.

[justleftovers]

Mellie doesn't respond to any of the stimuli around her - not Sirius' fingers and talking, not the green man and his scanner, not the baby in her arms who's gone silent with fear at the strange silvery creatures. She neither blinks nor flinches, but restates the green man's words.

"Whatever you’re doing to my suit, you need to cease doing it immediately. To stop them, I need it to be functional - the equipment inside it is delicate."

And by then the translation spell has taken such hold that Mellie's talents are no longer necessary. She blinks and looks around, looks at the kid in her arms, at the green man in front of her and Hottie McLonghair right next to her (ooh, he smells a little wild) and, in a daze, asks "did I fall asleep?"

Because that's what she needs when aliens are invading: narcolepsy.

[googledox]

The spell Sirius did seemed to take hold and froze the nasty silver things in the air.

"Most of your brain function temporarily . We'll it later. Right now, we have a more pressing at hand."

The green guy started flying back over to his suit, but it was right then that the creatures suddenly vibrated, once, twice, blurring as they did it, as if something slithering out of the control of Sirius' spell at some fundamental level.

Then they darted down and started attacking the green guy's suit, causing pieces to fly off and electricity to crackle from it. It started emitting a high-pitched whining noise that did not sound good and was getting higher and higher.

"...That's not good."

The green guy turned to them.

"They can't stand vibrations or sonics. That's why I damaged some of the buildings, to guide their movements with the vibrations from the sonic emitters in my suit. Are any of you capable of making noise or causing vibrations we could use to herd them? I have an idea."

[justadigger]

Now the green guy was getting to be a bit more understandable, and the girl stopped scarily reminding him of some pretty bad memories. He starts to relax once more, shaking his head at Mellie's question. "No, you were...translating our friend here, somehow," he answers, motioning to him as he says so.

He sighs and shrugs at his question, though. "Barring screaming like a lunatic, I've got nothing to offer in that department."

[thewholeofthemoon]

"If you even try going catatonic, Padfoot, I'm going to summon a newspaper and beat you about the head and shoulders until you wake up." The sounds were definitely putting Remus on edge, as was his friend's insistence that this wasn't real. Which, as much as Remus would LIKE to think that the green guy who flew without a broom was fake, too much else was ringing true.

Such as the fact that he could practically FEEL the fact that the moon's phase had changed.

"Sadly, I haven't brought one of Molly Weasley's Howlers," Remus replied to the green guy. "However, there are..." He paused, then, "Sorry, yes. There should be something we can do." No need to go into technicalities.

[grimbiker]

Not entirely satisfied that Mellie was all right but content for now, Sirius stepped away from Mellie.

"Any excuse to beat me senseless, Moony." He flashed Remus a grin before turning back to the issue at hand.

"Somehow I don't think you want us to start screaming. That'd be too undignified anyway."

Oh, he recognized that he should probably be acting right now. He knew that if he wanted this situation resolved he would have to do something. The problem was he was still convinced this was all in his head. And at the moment it was rather amusing to watch.

[justleftovers]

"I don't remember doing that." Granted, Mellie forgets to close her refrigerator door sometimes, and forgets her keys and leaves her coffee on the counter on her way to work sometimes, but forgetting translating alien speech in the middle of a crowd of victimized little people is a bit much. Still, now doesn't seem an appropriate time to ask if she's gone completely mental.

"I could sing. That usually drives people in the opposite direction."

[googledox]

The green guy rolled his eyes, and then stopped, seeming to consider his options.

"You two, it appears you can do -" Full body shudder of disgust "--magic. Do you have any spells that can amplify sound?"

He said "spells" like it was a dirty word.

[grimbiker]

Sirius watched the green alien and a grin spread across his face. So, he didn't like magic? Well, Sirius could have a bit of fun with that. And the alien did ask.

He pointed his wand straight at Brainiac and said "sonorus."

So Sirius was going insane? So what? That was even more of a reason to have a little fun. The next time the green man spoke it would sound like he was talking through a megaphone.

[justadigger]

"Mm. Well, you did seem...rather out of it while doing so," Simon says to Mellie, making a vague hand-rotation gesture - the sort of thing when you're not really sure how to explain something.

The wizards and Brainiac get a curious watch as Simon rests the butt of his staff on the ground. He does want to help the situation, but his current options are pretty limited - and much as he'd like to make his own way of dealing with the flying creatures, it seemed like these lot had it under control for now.

[thewholeofthemoon]

Remus glanced at Sirius, not entirely certain what had gotten into his best friend, but there wasn't time to figure it out. "That spell will amplify your voice," he explained to the green man. Since Sirius didn't seem willing to do so and they hardly needed to antagonize him more. "There are others that can be used to amplify the sounds that your robot creates. And Padfoot, explain what you're casting BEFORE casting the spell on the Muggles? It's only polite."

It was against every single Statute of Secrecy currently on the books at the Ministry of Magic, but that was what memory charms were for.

[justleftovers]

"I feel like I just woke up from a nap." Mellie rubs her eyes, but there's no sleep dust there, no puffiness from having just woken up. Bizarre. The child on the ground runs away.

Is Hottie McLonghair's name siriusly seriously Padfoot? And is his blond friend talking about some breed of dog? A person more rooted to reality might flip the metaphorical chess board off the table at all of this, but somehow Mellie's managed to cut her tether to what she's supposed to expect and is just floating along, peacefully zen with the fact that this is all completely and totally bizarre.

Maybe she's been dropping acid and doesn't know it. Probably best if her FBI ex-boyfriend doesn't find out.

"If these two can do magic," she says, gesturing to Remus and Sirius, and grabbing Simon's arm as if he's the only solid thing around her, "do they have a forcefield or anything?"

[googledox]

Sirius was fortunate that Brainy didn't instinctually punch him in the face with his shield because that was his first instinct after magic was thrown his way thanks to enemies like Mordru.

"I NEED YOU TO -"

He took a moment out of bossing them around to roll his eyes once he realized the effect of the spell.

"I NEED YOU TO CAST THE SAME SPELL ON ALL OF US. PROVIDED ITS EFFECTS CAN BE NEGATED AFTER THIS."

The expression on his face said "And they had better be."

Sirius, he does not like you.

[grimbiker]

Sirius had resigned himself to getting punched in the face often. Not that he minded that Brainy had refrained. Even if this was all an elaborate hallucination he didn't imagine it would be too pleasant.

But he was blissfully unaware of how close his nose came to being broke. So instead he continued to grin.

"Oh Moony, what's the fun in warning them," he said flippantly before turning to Brainy. "Don't worry. You won't make yourself hoarse." He turned to the others, raising his wand. "This won't hurt a bit." As a show of good faith, he cast the spell first on himself before casting it on his companions, one at a time.

[justadigger]

"Guess that makes sense," Simon half-mumbles about Mellie's sleepy feeling, and then looks a bit surprised to see her grabbing onto him. Once he recovers from that, though, he chuckles and lightly pats her arm. "I don't know, but if you're worried about getting hurt, stick with me," he adds.

Sirius gets a frown, and Simon tilts his staff in the wizard's direction. "This whole mess is weird enough, young man, without adding to it by throwing around flashy stuff without any explanation or warning. It's not going to do you any favors in the trust department," Simon explains in a calm, but warning tone.

He does take the spell without incident, however, but refrains from trying out its effects just yet.

[thewholeofthemoon]

Even though Remus was fully able to cast the spell himself, he allowed Sirius to cast it on him instead. It wasn't too strange. Not as strange as it maybe should have been, given the fact that the last time Remus had seen Sirius, he'd been sneaking out of Remus's small home in the early hours of the morning after another fight.

He mostly blamed Voldemort, but it wasn't like Sirius was completely innocent in all of it.

"TRY NOT TO MIND HIM," Remus replied, rolling his shoulders. "HE TENDS TO THINK HE'S FUNNIER THAN HE ACTUALLY IS. IT'S MOSTLY HARMLESS, THOUGH." Mostly. Not always. See: trying to send Severus to the Shrieking Shack during a full moon. It had taken time for Remus to forgive that one. "SO. WHAT DO YOU NEED US TO DO?"

[justleftovers]

"AH!" Mellie lets go of Simon and claps her hands over her ears. "WOW, MAGIC SOME EARPLUGS IN, MAYBE?"

She decides right then that she likes Simon, if only because he seems like the sanest thing around. She doesn't even argue that she doesn't need protecting, because the truth is that she doesn't mind it right now, even if a part of her hopes that he doesn't waste too much energy on her. After all, she's only temporary anyway.

"GIVE US THE ORDER." She gestures to Brainiac. "YOU'RE THE BOSS."

[googledox]

"WE NEED TO CREATE SEVERAL SONIC FOCAL POINTS AND INITIATE A MALFORNIAN SUBSONIC WAVE COLLAPSE TO - "

Brainy paused. This wasn't his team and this seemed to be some variant of Earth around the 20th or 21st century, so there was no telling how primitive and unintelligent these individuals were.

He regrouped.

"WE NEED TO GET AROUND THEM IN A CIRCLE AND SCREAM AT THEM, SO I CAN HERD THEM IN A WAY THAT LETS ME BLOW THEM UP. SINGING HORRIFICALLY OUT OF TUNE WILL ALSO SUFFICE; THE HIGHER PITCHED THE BETTER."

Brainy led the way, flying over to the other side of the cloud, which was starting to disperse.